WASSUP?!

child-of-the-darkness: oh my gosh this is one of the most...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 18:04:09 -0400

child-of-the-darkness:

oh my gosh this is one of the most amazing things ive ever seen

Damn, must have missed the memo Got 5 dollars to spend on this demo No cash no car no bitches no...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 04:54:51 -0400

Damn, must have missed the memo

Got 5 dollars to spend on this demo

No cash no car no bitches no bling

Fuck the rappers who say money ain’t a thing

But we’ll see change in a couple of years

I’ll be done with college and I’ll drink some beers

By the time your resume will include

Rapper, banker, working fast food

iraffiruse: Frozach Submitted

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 18:26:54 -0400

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

mom: did you get home safe?

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 23:03:57 -0400

mom: did you get home safe?

me: no i died a few times

fuckpaul: in case of a fire we’re just gonna have to fucking...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 12:44:43 -0400

fuckpaul:

in case of a fire we’re just gonna have to fucking die.

superwholockandotherobsessions: gnometeeth: A possum broke...

Sat, 08 Jun 2013 18:32:14 -0400

superwholockandotherobsessions:

gnometeeth:

A possum broke into an Australian bakery and ate so many pastries it couldn’t move. This is how they found him.

I live for this post

This possum is truly my spirit animal. Overeating with a touch of illegality ;)

iraffiruse: Frozach Submitted

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 12:17:35 -0400

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

biitchesaintshiibuthoesntriicks: i need one!

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:20:21 -0400

biitchesaintshiibuthoesntriicks:

i need one!

I come for the weed and the pills and the pain Every single day I spark that mary jane I don’t...

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 18:51:00 -0400

I come for the weed and the pills and the pain

Every single day I spark that mary jane

I don’t know how you got it and I don’t really care

Watch me throw my smoke signals up in the air

Once you smoke a blunt, you never goin’ back

no need to flip a coin, just puff and pass

It’s goin’ down smokes pourin’ out

all you crazy stoners show what we’re about!

iamtapelord: -deadly: bl0wp0p: that may be one of the coolest...

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 17:29:21 -0400

iamtapelord:

-deadly:

bl0wp0p:

that may be one of the coolest things i’ve ever seen……..

w h a t

Because screw dominoes

ethan-lawson-wate: bradmajors: me: you: the fact that we all know exactly what this means...

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 02:22:19 -0400

ethan-lawson-wate:

bradmajors:

me:

you:

the fact that we all know exactly what this means unites us in a spiritual way

I'm sorry about your puppy!!! That's horrible! ): Are you okay?

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 01:50:44 -0400

Thanks :) I’m a little better, but I’m still feeling pretty bad. I’m not saying like I’m scared for life or anything, but what I saw will not leave my mind for a while.

FUCK YOU FATE!

Fri, 31 May 2013 23:40:48 -0400

Well….I just saw something I never wanted to see. I found my dog dead in her brother’s cage. He was yanking on her collar trying to get her up, but she suffocated to death. At least that is what I assume…Life is feeling pretty shitty right now :’( RIP Abby

groovymuttations: you could hit me with a car and i’d still say sorry

Thu, 30 May 2013 16:25:21 -0400

groovymuttations:

you could hit me with a car and i’d still say sorry

asunsetdream: hetalia4ever: well that was unexpected how rude. Well

Wed, 29 May 2013 17:28:47 -0400

asunsetdream:

hetalia4ever:

well that was unexpected

how rude.

Well

falconktango: Woah calm down there Satan.

Wed, 29 May 2013 17:28:21 -0400

falconktango:

Woah calm down there Satan.

timeandbananas:

Wed, 29 May 2013 17:26:41 -0400

timeandbananas:

Photo

Tue, 28 May 2013 17:48:29 -0400

Photo

Tue, 28 May 2013 17:47:53 -0400

grapefruitshampoo: imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane: tephnos: sir...

Tue, 28 May 2013 17:47:37 -0400

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.

You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK